Friday, July 18, 2008

Registry guilt, then elation!

Allison at HaselBride did a post on unusual registry items yesterday, so I thought I'd follow with "registering at unusual places, and the fallout." I've talked to many women getting married who dread the process of registering and this, friends, is a mindset utterly foreign to me and my product loving self. I've pretty much had most of ours picked out for the last 5 years, quietly waiting for day we would declare our everlasting love by registering for items we COULD live without but would prefer not, to since we have the choice thank you.

This doesn't mean that I don't find the whole concept of telling people in no uncertain terms what you want, and then expecting these items to show up at your door in the months before and after your wedding, a little bizarre. Especially when you are 1) a kitchen/food junkie and have essentially been receiving big ticket registry-type items for christmas and birthday for the last 5 years so you really don't need anything, and 2) already live with future husband and really don't need wedding guests to "help you start your new home together." I mean I'll take it, but I'm just saying.

So my plan for the registry was to only request things we really wanted/needed, ensuring that our lists didn't seem greedy, inappropriate, or unnecessary. And to register for things that are thoughtful and beautiful so everyone feels like they get to give a good present, no matter how big or small. To me this means no registry at macys or crate and barrel, which turns out to be confusing for many people.

Which brings me to my point. Apparently some people still like to go IN PERSON and pick out presents. And when the only store that is convenient to everyone (Sur la Table) on your registry only has 5 items on it, people start to get a little huffy. My grandma, upon hearing of this travesty from one of her friends, almost insisted that I add more things. And I resisted people, I did. I was trying to be practical, (shout out to Meg at A Practical Wedding, this is the only practical thing I can think of that I've done so far), by only requesting things we really thought we should have.

But then yesterday at lunch, I caved. I hadn't thought of it, but one can actually go into a store and register for items in person! How quaint! I suppose this is how people did it back in the old days now that I think about it. So with this new tidbit of inspiration, I entered Sur la Table. At which point they hand you a gun and you troll the aisles for anything that strikes your fancy. Amazing! I have to admit, it was oddly satisfying. And as with everything wedding, I've learned that you can resist up to a certain point, hold dear your bridal beliefs, and then finally when your energy is low and your impenetrable outer shell shows weakness, you just let the wedding flow take you. And it's totally fine, you come to see.

beautiful things we would like, from Heath.

1 comment:

Meg said...

Oh, silly, I just saw this. Of course you should register for more things. A nice practical thing includes keeping people like your grandmother happy by providing them prety things that they know you'll love that they can buy you in person since they don't trust that crazy web o' tubes with their credit card number.

We haven't dealt with the registry yet, and I'm dreading it... but my practical advice is always "have things in lots of different price points. Your parents freinds of 20 years are going to be pissed if they have to buy you 25 spoons to make up for that desk your parents gave their daughter 5 years ago."

So. Please.