To find out or not

Since I have nothing else pressing to do today, I thought I'd share (by request from Meg and Peonies) why/how we decided to keep our baby's gender a surprise.



Wait, I DO have things to do today. I have made myself an entire list of things. Including walk the stairs, go to yoga, go to Mood Fabrics (for no other reason than curiosity and a minor obsession with PR), and make Palak Daal from 101 Cookbooks. See? BUSY.

Okay, so back to babyland.

For us it wasn't really a hard decision, or much of a decision at all. I've always thought I'd wait. As in there wasn't really another option. And Brock was completely on board, even before I found out I was pregnant. There's so much technology involved in the pregnancy and birth process these days we liked the idea of keeping things old school in one small way.

Plus, I imagine there's nothing more amazing that hearing your husband say to you "It's a boy/girl!" when you hear your child's first cry. And I like embracing the mystery that is pregnancy and birth. We know a lot with all of our science, but it's all such an amazing process we can't possibly understand it all.

I know there are many (most in fact) people who need to know. And I think that's totally great and fine for them. Some people are planners, some aren't so much. I'm good with the unknown. We only know 2 other couples our age who chose to wait, which isn't very many. It's nearly the same percentage of people who don't get an epidural in LA, (98% do).

But I disagree with one popular argument, which is "It's a surprise either way". Meaning If you find out at 20 weeks or at birth, you're still as surprised. Um, no. Sorry. Of course you're surprised when the ultrasound tech tells you during your anatomy ultrasound (and it's very tempting to find out, even with strong resolve in the other direction), but it's not nearly the same as waiting to actually meet your baby to find out who he or she is. The first way you have 20 more weeks to mentally prepare for your son or daughter. You will have a dresser full of pink onesies or robot and cowboy pjs and most likely you'll have your name picked out.

If you wait til the end it will be the grandest surprise, 10 months in the making. And you'll have lots of nice orange and aqua and brown things for your baby to wear. PLUS, you'll get to hear everyone's predictions along the way. Which is fun and can be influential in imagining what you're having. EVERYONE tells me we're having a boy because of the way I'm carrying. But actually in these last weeks a few dissenters have emerged. Including the baby oracle at Whole Foods Venice who has apparently guessed every baby correctly for the last year and a half.

Her prediction: it looks like a boy, but it's going to be a girl. And I'm supposed to give birth tomorrow but I might go in tonight.

I'm not sure if I really answered the question of why, but that's my take on the decision. We didn't even consider finding out (minus that split second in the ultrasound room), and I cannot wait to see who's been in there this whole time.

(onesies from a personal fave, Polarn O. Pyret)